I was watching a documentary, and it started talking about how an Indian man pulls a wagon for people in order to make a living. He says how in the summer, his head and feet hurt from the sun. He and his family lived in a home constructed of sticks and branches. He said that it was a nice home, with one side open so they can get a breeze in. Sometimes all they had to eat was rice with some salt and still he didn’t view himself as poor…because he was happy. He also mentioned how every time his son calls him dad, he’s the happiest man in the world.

Fact is that happiness is not exterior to the self or dependent. Happiness is found within the self, and within the heart. Someone once commented the blind/deaf Hellen Keller, “Mrs. Keller, it must be hard being blind.” Her answer gave me goosebumps, she said “It would be if I had no vision, because we really see with our hearts.” I think the key to her wisdom and what not is that she accepted she was blind and didn’t waste time realizing what she lacked, she instead determined to grow in happiness in what she had. She showed me and this documentary showed me that happiness is a choice. It’s based upon acceptance of where we are and where we can go. Just wanted to share that little piece of information, it’s important to know and have. very good documentary. even though i haven’t come to accepting the things that are happening to me, I think I slowly will. I’m still in denial sometimes but I guess that’s ok. do things that you love, it’s the building blocks of a happy life. be kind to others, volunteer, it helps. being successful doesn’t mean being rich and having a good job or wtv, society tends to force that thought process into your minds. To me it’s doing what you love, and being around great people that you love as well. Even if some of the people don’t see eye to eye with you. I don’t know how to normalize this, it still eats me up inside after this long, it’s crazy cuz i didn’t know it’d be this hard. it was like a huge punch in the face and i’m left all alone to figure it out without any answers, just questions that will eat you up inside. worst part of it isn’t the pain, it’s the loneliness. It’s a cliche but I always like ending my writings with a quote…hope you enjoy these pointless thoughts I have. 

"Addiction is an effect on human unhappiness and human suffering. When people are distressed they want to soothe their distress, when people are in pain they want to soothe their pain. So the real question is not why the addiction, but why the pain?"

- Eugene Jarecki

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"The mind is the true hell, Your thoughts, Your ideas is what control your hell"
- O’keffe Yhap  (via nigerwolf)

lately its been the same thing always before bed late at night. always is and always has been.

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."
- Tom Clancy (via feellng)